Yesterday was Good Friday, tomorrow is Easter. As we begin to celebrate what Jesus did for us on the cross, it seems glaringly worn and whatever the antonym for “groundbreaking” would be, to say that these passages of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and ending on the cross illustrate the epitome of Jesus’ selflessness. Of course these verses demonstrate Jesus’ selflessness; he literally dies for us to be saved. He endures our judgment, our pain, our sorrows, our punishment, our humiliation, our death. Yes. That is the epitome of selflessness.

Yet, I noticed something new that I’d somehow never focused on before while reading these passages in Matthew’s gospel. To set this scene, in Matthew 26, we see Jesus going into the Garden to pray, after the Last Supper was finished. There is such deep, raw emotion here. Jesus knows what he’s about to endure – torture, rejection, betrayal, humiliation, death, separation from the Father. The human side of him asks the Father if there is any way for this “cup” [read: outcome, fate, purpose] to be changed, or “taken from” him. Yet he yields to the Father’s will and surrenders his own will of escaping this incredible journey of physical and emotional pain. Raw emotion and faith mingle here. He knows what the coming hours hold.

However, here is the piece I’d never really given much thought to. Jesus says his “soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” in Matthew 26:38. Then in verses 40-41, Jesus comes back from praying and finds his disciples are asleep. They were tired and couldn’t even stay awake for an hour to do what he had asked them to do – keep watch as he prayed. Then he says,

“Watch and pray SO THAT you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Amidst Jesus’ overwhelming sorrow and commitment to the Father’s will, amidst accepting this coming fate of incredible pain – emotional and physical, he returns and discovers that his disciples couldn’t even deny their bodies’ need for sleep for a single HOUR. Yet what concerns him is that they will fall away from him, that they’ll fall into temptation. His whole reason for coming to earth and being with them is because he loves them (and us!). He came to make a way for us to be with God again. Yet the disciples were so ruled by their physical needs and wants that they couldn’t complete the simple task of praying for an hour. He is worried about them staying faithful and obedient to God.

Is Jesus concerned about them abiding in the Father because he knows that he, Jesus, will no longer be with them physically? He is about to leave. He won’t be there to physically tell them what to do, where to go, how to live. He’s been with them for three years. He knows the Holy Spirit, the Helper, is coming but he also knows the power of temptation. He knows how lazy we can be when our bodies are tired, hungry, aflame with desire, et cetera.

I believe he is begging them to pray and stay connected to God so they don’t fall away. He is displaying this concern for them and focusing on teaching them this lesson amidst his coming fate. This is the piece of this “epitome of selflessness” that I’d never thought about before. Only God can understand torture and betrayal are coming yet stop to warn, teach, and guide us so that we won’t stray from Him.

Father, may we not walk away from this revelation with mere gratitude. Let us walk away in gratitude, awe, humility, and hearts ablaze for You. Let us walk away with minds and hearts devoted completely to You. Help us to commit our thoughts, words, and deeds into obedience to Your will, regardless of our physical and emotional needs and desires. Find us faithful, thankful, and obedient to You until the day You return. Amen.

Maybe it’s 8pm when you read this but as I type this right now, it’s a little after 7am. In that light, entitling my blog, “The Sovereignty of God,” makes me think “woh, lady… it’s a little early for that!” BUT I suppose I’ll stick with it. “Go bold or go home,” right?

I started reading Samuels again this morning. To be honest, I’ve been all over the map with my morning devos (totally fine, by the way, I’m not saying that’s wrong). But do you ever get those little nudges in your heart, saying “do this or do that…”? I’ve had those for quite a while. Samuel keeps popping into my mind.

SO, today I began… I didn’t even make it through the first two chapters, guys. It’s jam-PACKED. I mean, not “Romans-jam-packed,” but still. It’s hard to stay focused on one thing that stands out this morning. We’ve got the sovereignty of God; we’ve got sinful kids not listening to their dad; we’ve got deep, heartbreaking emotions and crying out to God… we’ve got it all!

However, the first thing I noticed as I began reading the Old Testament again, is how real those people were. They were messy and dumb, friends! It seems like I hear people saying, “ugh, I do not get the Old Testament. It’s so violent,” or “It’s so confusing!” But I love reading it. I’m not sure what that says about me but holy COW, the Old Testament gives me such hope. To be fair, I’m reading it through the lens of the New Testament so I know the end of the story is good. CHEATER! Oh well.

We see this woman (Hannah) who is heartbroken because she hasn’t been able to have a child, yet her husband’s other wife has given him children. There is such emotion here! We get this picture of her crying and even refusing to eat. Uhhh, hello. She’s legit depressed and heartbroken. Beyond that, the other wife “provokes” her because she can’t have children. Heartless! I understand her raw emotion here much more now than I did a decade ago. I truly believe her ache for a child is less the “oh she has a child? I want one, too!” and more of the “I want to have a child so that I can raise it to be a blessing to you, God. I want to be a part of that!” I think this because she not only promises to dedicate him to God as a Nazirite but she keeps that promise. (See 1 Samuel 1:11-28; for Nazirite info see Numbers 6)

Maybe her desire for a child didn’t start out that pure but it definitely came to that point. There’s something that happens when we realize we’re desperate and dependent on God … in that place, we realize what’s important. Oh, how I can relate to a woman who cries out to God and has heartache. Who can’t?! We barter with God. “Oh God! If you give me this, then I’ll do that…” Sometimes God grants our requests, sometimes He doesn’t. And, sometimes we honor our promises… sometimes we don’t.

Regardless, God answered Hannah’s request and gave her a son, Samuel. And Hannah gave Samuel back to the work of God.

From that point, we go through this process of seeing two things: 1) the sovereignty of God and also 2) several contrasts between the sons of Eli, the priest, and Samuel. HUGE differences. I think these two things go together. The contrasts actually help to illustrate the sovereignty of God.

Eli’s sons were born into the priesthood, as descendants of Levi. They had this God-given opportunity to honor God and shine His light and image to the people who came to worship Him there. Instead, they did not know the LORD and were incredibly sinful, which dishonored Him (1 Samuel 2:12-17, 22-25). They blatantly shamed God by sleeping with women who weren’t their wives and breaking God’s rules for sacrifices; the people did not like them! Eli tried to correct them but they refused to listen (1 Samuel 2:25). We’re told “it was the will of the LORD to put them to death.”

Now see the contrast of these priests with Samuel, born into the family of an Ephrathite (1 Samuel 1:1), who was growing in stature and in favor with the LORD…and also with man (1 Samuel 2:18, 26). In relation to God’s sovereignty, we see God raising up a young man who is dedicated to Him and serving faithfully yet preparing to bring down priests who think they’re really something simply because they were born into their position and power.

If we look back at Hannah’s prayer, we see her profound perspective of God and the world – that God is completely sovereign. “The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and exults” (1 Samuel 2:7) It’s full of contrasts, too. “The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble bind on strength” (v.4). Read the whole thing!

So what happens? We see that God is in control. Eventually, Eli and his sons are killed, and his house is cut off from the priesthood, just as God promised (1 Samuel 2:27-36; 4:12-22). Then, God calls Samuel and, I don’t want to ruin the rest of the story, but God uses him mightily!

I’m getting long-winded, friends. My bad. Back to the point… what is the point?? The point is that God is always in control. We can either go along with His plan, or not. I want to be careful here in how I explain this, because few things make me want to duct tape someone’s mouth shut more than someone who says, “everything happens for a reason”!

Seriously, people. If someone’s child dies in a car accident or from cancer, please, please do not tell their parents that “everything happens for a reason.” And if your friend breaks his leg because he got drunk and tripped over a bike, don’t tell him that “everything happens for a reason,” unless you tell him it’s his own darn fault he broke his leg.

YES – God orchestrates all things by somehow working through both our instances of stupidity and obedience. God can bring the most beautiful things from our most painful times. But there is too much in His word that teaches us He has no part in evil (James 1:13); He is angered by sin (Genesis 6:6) so there’s no chance that he causes sin. That’s on us, folks. However, He does allow sin. Hello! Free-will. We’re free to be as dumb and sinful as we wish. Sometimes He allows it to go on for a long time, sometimes He doesn’t. But again, He is also powerful enough to work out His plan – regardless of all sin.

Again, the point. We can seek and find the LORD; we can have a relationship with Him; we can join His epic plan for the world… or we can go against Him by ignoring him and doing our own thing. However, we know the end result for both of those options. Of course we see this over and over, from beginning to end in the Bible, but here’s one from this study…

“He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness, for not by might shall a man prevail.”

1 Samuel 2:9

This plays out in a million different ways but the core is the same. Honor and respect God or do your own thing. The sons of Eli totally justified their pleasures and actions. They didn’t have a relationship with God. I actually wonder if they even believed in His existence! Who blatantly sins against Him when they really know Him? Only people who have no fear of how big He is. That’s a topic for a whole different blog. They even got away with it for a while. But LORD, I pray that I and everyone reading this can stop for a moment to get a tiny glimpse of how big You are. Grant us the humility to listen to Your word and listen when those who love you come and give us the tough news that we’re in the wrong. Let us see when we need to change our ways… and thank You that you offer us the opportunity to be a part of your Master plan. Show us how we can honor and bless You today. Amen.

If you stuck with me this far, thank you! This has been a longer post than most. Have a good one and be blesse!

Like various other holidays and topics in general, you see people either completely embracing Valentine’s Day, angrily rejecting it, sobbing in their box of chocolates, or somewhere in-between.

You log into your Insta or Facebook app and become flooded with lovey-dovey posts about their soulmates and jokes about State Troopers causing people’s hearts to “skip a beat” for years (hilarious, Nebraska State Troopers)!

As I woke this morning and spent some time praying, I began thinking of God’s love and how Jesus once commanded his disciples that they love one another as he loved them because by that, people will know they were his disciples (paraphrased John 13:34-35 – read the actual verses for yourself).

After this, I read a little on Saint Valentine. There are quite a few different histories on quite a few different Valentines or Valentinos throughout history. One bit of church history explains how Valentine was a priest of Rome. He was arrested in the 3rd century AD for practicing and preaching Christianity. When brought to a judge, he challenged Valentine to heal his blind daughter. If he could do this, the judge promised to do anything he said. Valentine reportedly prayed to God and God healed the girl. The judge and his whole family were converted because of this miracle. As a reminder, this is not anywhere in the Bible but in church history. Valentine was set free, only to be arrested again later and taken to the emperor, after which he was martyred.

What I take from this (and from the Bible), is that this type of love lived out by Valentine was a deeper type of love. Saint Valentine put the lives of others (both ministering and evangelizing) before himself. He put the will of God to bring people into the faith above his own life.

I am married and yes, the love of a spouse is beautiful and a blessing from God. I don’t want to minimize the deep love we can have for one another. However, this love is just a shaddow of the truest, greatest love of all – agape love, which can only be found in God. It is because of God’s great love that we have the slightest capacity to love Him and those around us.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

“Let love be genuine.  Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” – Romans 12:9–21

When you consider this type of love, it sheds a whole different light on this day. This is a day that reminds us of the love that God asks us to demonstrate each day… a love that is much deeper and wider than the mere love of eros. It’s a love that challenges us to think of ways to bless others, a love that asks us to serve selflessly, a love that turns our eyes away from our own desires.

Friends, this kind of love… this demonstration of genuine love… is something I can get on board with. Challenging? YES! But it’s love that lasts and is meaningful. Adopt an orphan; visit the sick and elderly; write a letter to someone who needs encouragement; speak Truth to those who haven’t yet heard; pray for those in need.

Remember St. Valentine as a man who points us to Jesus and His perfect love. Celebrate each day by pointing those around us to Jesus by our love. Bless you! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you’re trying to run in a pool of molasses? You know you have things to accomplish but you just want to… sleep? …watch a movie? …anything but do what you need to do? Today is one of those days. The fact that it feels like 21 below might have some part in it but really, somedays are just like that for me. It’s a “whipped cream and sprinkles on my coffee” kind of day.

So as I sit here trying to find some motivation to get moving with my tasks, I go back to the Word. Alright fine, I’ve sat here journaling and asking God for direction for about fortyfive minutes. Yeah. I know. Like I said, it’s slow going.

But after finally confessing my sins and sitting quietly, I hear a small voice telling me that if I draw near to God, he will draw near to me (James 4:8). A promise. It’s so simple… re-reading James 4:1-10 reminds me that my heart needs an adjustment (which is true more often than I’d like to admit). I get frustrated with life, I’m disappointed, and I’m dragged down in spirit. And to be honest, a lot of these disappointments are the same disappointments I’ve struggled with for years.

James 4 says that when I ask and don’t receive, it’s because either I’m asking with wrong motives or I just need to be patient. Either way, I desperately want my heart and mind to be undivided from God’s (Psalm 86:11). The only way to have peace, purpose, and deep connection with God is to be unified with Him – unified in spirit and will (Galatians 2:20; Romans 12:1-2).

“What does this mean for me?  How can I be unified in purpose and spirit?”

Friends, everyone finds themselves at different places in life, at different times. For me, right now, I know God is telling me to lay down my desires for my life (children, career, etc.) at His feet. If I don’t, I’ll continue to walk through life, like a crying child, over the blankie God took from me because He wanted to give me a car. I haven’t gotten the car because I’m throwing a fit over the lost blankie. See that? His will and plan is superior. I referenced it before but will post the full verse here.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Galatians 2:20

This means that my goals, desires, and dreams are laid at His feet. If He chooses to bring those desires to pass, great. If His will is something else, also great. But in my heart, when these hurts and deep longings rear up and threaten to bring me down, I can bring them to Him yet again. I think it’s a process. There’s a reason God repeats over and over again to give our fears and worries to Him (see Philippians 4, Isaiah 41:10, John 14:1, Joshua 1:9, Proverbs 3:5-6, on and on). Hopefully, I’ll get better and faster at giving them back to Him so I can focus on what His will actually is instead of wallowing in my own small plans for life.

I know it sounds simple, but here is what I’ve done during the last 15 minutes. I straight up shared my desires with God and then asked Him to take charge of them and do what He wants. Then, I started praying for my family, friends, and those in need. Finally, I think there’s something to be said about getting my stuff done! This is what I’ll do after I hit “Publish” on this post.
If you want some guidance on idleness, see 2 Thessalonians 3:6-13, which puts a bit of a fire under me as I consider my “To Do” list. Of course, there is a time for rest and Sabbath but all the other 6 days of the week I need to get with it!

That being said, have a great day, friends! I’m off to knock some things off my “To Do” list. Be blessed! Do good! Love God; Love people. And walk in the will of the Creator…

So, today. Coffee. I’m having coffee, reading Philippians, and preparing to have yet another day of studying for the Praxis 5421 (Professional School Counselor) exam, which I’ll take next Monday. Sidenote – the study “flashcards” are the longest flashcards I’ve ever seen in my life. They are more like novel cards. For real. Look:

Anyway, I’ve been reading through Philippians and am almost to the end. Something in me during the last several years has glossed over 4:13, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” It’s almost like these verses that are pasted on signs at every football game in the nation lose their meaning. John 3:16 and Phil 4:13.

It seems as if people use Philippians 4:13 as an anthem to remind themselves that God can give them the physical and mental strength to get the job done, to win the game! I’m not saying every person who holds that sign up is insinuating this but let’s be honest. That’s the depth of understanding a plethora of people have for this verse.

But in context of what Paul is saying here it is so much BIGGER than that. As he pours out his joy for his friendship and partnership in the gospel with the church in Philippi, he is saying that even though he has been abandoned by many at different times, has gone hungry, has been humbled, been beaten and put in chains, he has also had plenty and been encouraged during other times… no matter what situation he finds himself in – whether alone or with friends – he has discovered that God will give him the strength to move forward. When life seems like no one is on his side, God is there.

While most of us, at least in America, aren’t thrown in jail or stoned for our faith, most of us know what it’s like to be lonely, to feel abandoned and rejected. We also know what it’s like to be well-fed, with a roof over our heads. Both sides of these things, we can relate to. What we get from this is how to move forward. Do we feel lonely? God is here and strengthening us, with purpose!

How do we do this? I think the fact that Paul saturates this entire letter with the themes of gratitude and God’s overarching will, gives us the answer. Look for the good in people and understand that God has a master plan (1:6), look to Jesus for humility (2:1-11) because even though he deserved respect, love, and loyalty, he moved forward with God’s plan despite being left alone, abandoned, beaten, and crucified because it was God’s plan! This is big, guys. We will often do for others and not get any thanks or payback. We will love and not be loved back. It’s really hard and we want to yell “this isn’t fair!” It’s true… but if we look to Jesus as our example, we can rest in the fact that if we serve Him and do all things to His glory, we don’t need the praise or payback of others. We are a part of a much larger plan and reward – the gospel going forth and the kingdom growing. In ten-thousand years, we will look back and say “that was totally worth it.”

If you’re reading this, thank you! Be blessed today. Love God and love people. Walk forward in joy, humility, and epic purpose… a purpose found in God’s will that will last forever.